• I just watched a documentary of one of Canada’s greatest ever musical minds, Glenn Gould, The Genius Within. While my musical discernment is not sophisticated enough to understand why all the commenters thought Gould a genius, I nevertheless found evidence for his big brain in the following Goulden nugget:

    “I tend to follow a very nocturnal sort of existence,” he said, “mainly because I don’t much care for sunlight. Bright colours of any kind depress me. And my moods are more or less inversely related to the clarity of the sky on any given day. Matter of fact, my private motto has always been, ‘Behind every silver lining is a cloud.’ So I schedule my errands for as late an hour as possible, and I tend to emerge along with the bats and the raccoons.”

    Even though I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between Gould’s piano interpretations and Fraggle Rock’s greatest hits, I suspect we would have been sun-resisting brothers had we met during our small window of overlapping time on the planet.

    This rant’s for you, brother Glenn. (My own brother mocks me for my anti-sun position, so I’m happy to trade you in to his spot.)

    NOTE: Mr. Gould apparently believed in such acquired family as he one day suggested to his beloved audio engineer, Lorne Tulk, that they become brothers, and that they go down to City Hall to make the bond legal.

  • You may recall my revolutionary rant against sun-biased weather journalism. I’m delighted to report that some of my leading fans (two of my sisters) bought me a t-shirt of support (derived from a noble t-shirt performance artist on the IT Crowd. Resistance may not be futile, after all.

    May the clouds be with us all!

  • Since publishing the transcript of my delightful (yet oddly, not-yet-gone-viral) rant against biased weather journalists, which was first uttered approximately a decade ago on my pre-podcasting-era “radio” show, Life and Seth (on SETH/FM), I have received a request from my former producer (also named Seth) to publish the video of that original rant here. I am happy to do so in honour of the recently retired CKNW comedic grouch, Neil Macrae, after whom ranting Seth was patterned.

    But I should warn you, before I leave you to your enjoyment and agreement, that I was “broadcasting” for radio, not television, which means that, while the rant was on videotape, my attention was focussed on my voice instead of any special eye contact with the audience. In fact, the only reason the footage is on video is because my video camera possessed the best audio recorder at SETH/FM headquarters.

    Stay cool, my friends.

  • As summer ominously approaches for another year and I listen as always to weather reporters proclaim its glory, I am reminded of a rant provided by myself during my radio days at SETH/FM. I have just taken an ear peak at it, and I can confirm that my words then are as true now (if not truer, considering global warming) as the day they were born.

    Since first publishing that rant, I have received many threats (from the sun), and I have feared for my skin’s life. And so I have long resisted re-releasing my resistance material on the internet. However, I recently heard a caller into The Bill Good Show (CKNW) who brilliantly and entertainingly made her own complaints about weather reporters who insist upon decrying rain as though it is a catastrophe. In this age of natural disasters, she asked, “Does it have to be scorching hot for people to be satisfied?” I was delighted by this rare expression of sun resistance in our sun-obsessed culture. Bill, however – who is ordinarily a reasonable man – merely chuckled and called her “grumpy”. Really, would you refer to Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and other oppression opposers as simply being in a bad mood? 😉

    Thus, in defense of my sun-resister-sister, for the first time on the internet, I offer you now the transcript of Seth’s Editorial Rant, “The Sun Burns”:

    I’ve been doing a little bit of research on journalism and what I’ve learned is that journalists are expected, nay, obligated to be impartial in their journaling.  You’ll notice, for instance, when Bob Newsanchor reads the news, he says, “Today Jean Chrétien was named Prime Minister of Canada.  He does not, however, say, “Yippee, I’m glad to see that my favourite guy, J.C., got the job!”

    It is, therefore, with great confusion that I notice that one species of journalist – the weather journalist – seems to believe that they are immune to the rules of journalism; you will notice, that is, that the weather journalist believes he or she has the right to tell us whether the weather news is good or bad.  When the day is to be rain-shining, we are told that it is to be “a miserable day,” while when the day is to be sun-pouring, “it will be beautiful.”  Now I for one hate the sun, always have, and so when I hear that the weather is to be, quote, “nice,” I immediately get both my rain jacket and my singing voice on so that I can get out and do some singing in the rain.*  For 24 years, that has been my habit, and for 24 years I have been disappointed as I discover that, instead of some lovely rain, that ugly yellow disc, that I like to call the burning ball of fire, is out to play.

    *Now, of course, I am being facetious: I know that all weather people revere the sun like we can’t live without it, but I wonder what gives the weather people the right to expect me to worship that same weather that they do?

    As someone who likes overcast best, I feel persecuted for my beliefs.  Sometimes a passing stranger will comment to me, “What nice weather we’re having.” To which I sometimes reply, “What nice weather?! All I can see is a burning ball of fire which is giving me cancer, is causing me to squint, and is making you, kind stranger, sweat like an ice cube in an oven convention!”  To which the stranger will reply, “Oh, come now, we can’t complain about the heat; after all, when it was raining, we all wished for the sun to come out.”  To which I reply, “But I didn’t complain about the rain; in fact I was out there singing in it.”  To which the stranger will reply, “How dare you prefer the rain to the sun! You have no right to live!”

    Needless to say, being a rain fan is not an easy life to live in this country of sun-o-centrics.  Indeed, I often find myself hiding my rain preferences just to protect myself from an anti-rain lecture.  But, on the rainy side, or as the sun-o-files would say, on “the bright side,” by pretending to be a sun-o-file to avoid being discriminated against, I have been able to infiltrate some conversations of sunners, and what I’ve discovered is that many sunners have latent feelings of sun hating.  “What a beautiful day,” they’ll say out loud for the sun to hear, but then they’ll mutter under their breath, “Gosh it sure is hot,” “I’m exhausted,” “I need some water,” and so on.

    Such words are calls for help.  The fact is, most people are terrified to come out of the rain closet.  You see, when it comes to weather, Canada is much more a cult than a country.  We have, that is, been brainwashed to believe that we must love and adore the sun.  Who is to blame for the brainwashing?  Why, the aforementioned weather reporters, of course.  Those quirky folks with wacky ties who stand in front of weather maps pretending to know how to interpret the weather.  Yes, it is they who tell us that sun is good, rain is bad.  It is they who have forced upon our society this one-dimensional image of weather beauty.  And it is they who must be stopped.

    We must stand up and tell the weather reporters that we will no longer allow them to tell us what weather we should like and what weather we should dislike.  I’m not asking the weathermen and women to enjoy a good overcast day, I’m just asking they that don’t infringe upon my right to enjoy it.  I’m just asking that, like all other journalists, they report what they see, not what they think.

    Well put, previous Seth! Well put, indeed.

    Portal to my update on this rant.

Subscribe to Sethblogs

Enter your favourite email address here and sethblogs will alert you whenever Seth blogs.