• SETH ABOUT TOWN 13.04.2011

    You may remember from my chippy post, “THE CHIPS WILL BE DOWN“, that I along, with my like-initialed sister, entered a commercial writing contest to complete the script for a Doritos’ advertisement.

    Strangely, none of S.McDonough’s entries made it to the final 14, so the above link no longer offers access to our profound entires and instead will take you only to those who must have used flavour-based hypnosis to get to the commercial-writing championship.

    For posterity, then, I offer you my failed attempts (you’ll have to plead with my sister to acquire hers)…


    So, you may recall (or simply visit the above link to learn) that the completed portion of the commercial takes us to “Doritos’ Research Facility” where the two chip makers (Onion Rings N’ Ketchup vs Buffalo Wings N’ Ranch) are called to the dark and elegant, witch-looking Flavour Master so that she can inspect their chip creations, which are held in dark vs light mechanical containers. The Flavour Master receives, from a robotic arm, a sample of each brand. She likes them both, but notes there can only be one selection. A scary wind swirls in the room, and the commercial goes dark awaiting its conclusion. The contest makers then tell us that one of the two chip flavours must be destroyed (taken off the shelves forever), while the victorious brand will make a go at chip fame and fortune.

    Thus, hopeful writers such as myself were offered to write up to two conclusions for the advert – one with each of the chip-makers prevailing. So, with epic stories as my muse, I decided to continue the commercial’s theme of light vs dark, utilizing its standard metaphorical translation (good vs bad) to create the following two masterpieces (limited by the contest’s oppressive 400 character limit)…


    Flavour Master summons a robotic vacuum tube from above.

    “Wait!” Onion Man yells. “Can’t we have both?”

    Everyone smirks.

    FM glares: “You question my taste?” She directs the vacuum over his head; he drops his chips in fear.

    “Wait!” Wing Man yells. He hands Onion Man the chips: “Now he’s ready.”

    FM smiles. The vacuum swallows Onion Man & chips. FM beckons Wing Man & chips with a curl of her finger.


    Flavour Master summons a robotic chair. “Sit!” she commands.

    Wing Man pops his chip bag in Onion Man’s eyes and then dives for the seat.

    FM glares at Wing Man: “You sacrifice your creation for your life?”

    Wing Man is terrified: “So that I can make more!”

    FM shakes her head: “No you won’t.” The chair closes on him like a venus flytrap. A new back grows from the seat.

    “Sit,” FM smiles at Onion Man.


    Posted by SethBlog @ 3:03 PM

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