Image via Flickr by NRKbeta.

“Hey, guys, we’re not asking for much,” American congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, said amidst a gathering of reporters, “we’re just asking for equity in laughter.”

Progressive US politicians have apparently observed that progressive comedy does not receive as many laughs per punchline as woke-free comedy, and so they are proposing a bill to require that audiences laugh more equitably at all shapes and guises of humour.

“Silence… in laughter… is violence,” Ocasio-Cortez noted with strong intonation.

The ACLU joined in supporting the bill. “It’s time,” the human rights organization said in a public statement, “that all comedians, regardless of race, sex, or ability to amuse, receive the same level of laughs as the privileged non-progressive comedians.”

Ocasio-Cortez explained further: “Both Saturday Night Live and New Yorker comics have long shown us that the best comedy has nothing to do with laughter. Comedy’s about touching our hearts and our minds, not our funny bones.”

Dove Soap has joined the cause with an advertising campaign, titled “RealHumor,” to celebrate comedians who “haven’t received their fair share of chuckles because they don’t meet traditional comedy standards.” Celebrity spokesperson and trailblazing low-laughter-provoking late-night talk show host, Seth Myers, explained:

“It’s not okay to choose your comedy by how much it makes you laugh! It’s time we realized that all jokes are funny in their own way—especially real humour that doesn’t conform to the comedy/laughter paradigm.”

But one reporter asked: “If laughter isn’t relevant to whether someone is funny, why then is it so important to have equity in laughter?”

“It depends on the context,” Ocasio-Cortez explained. “But what I can tell you is that all people, especially those of us who are progressive and experiencing humourlessness, have the same right to giggling audiences as those who are born with a silver tongue in their mouth.”

The congresswoman was then asked if she would still support the bill even if it meant compelling people to laugh at progressive jokes that they personally found to be offensive.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez did not waver. “Yes, of course,” she said. “Think about it, guys: it’s literally impossible for a progressive person to make offensive jokes. Offensive humour equals power plus laughter. We have neither power behind our jokes, nor, as we’ve already stated, does anyone laugh at our jokes—which is exactly the problem.”

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